i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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