I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
