help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
porn star boner night. come get it.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize