Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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