another moral hangover. fuck.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
