Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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