I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
