note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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