So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
