No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
