O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
