Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
