just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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