i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize