Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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