there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
