the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
