What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
