I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
