I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
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