so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
