Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
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This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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