Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
