he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
