I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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