my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize