Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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