Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
