he looks like a really good dad on facebook
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
