They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
