Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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