Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
