I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
