apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize