dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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