dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He passed out mid-signature
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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