Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
