508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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