i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
How external is "for external use only"?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize