come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
