i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Sext me about skeletons
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize