ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
