If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
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