I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Man, jail baloney is awful.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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