i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
