we're chasing vodka with high fives
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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