The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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