so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
