mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
