All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
