i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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