dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
