I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
