This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
