sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
