I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
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