I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
how drunk are you?
Several
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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