glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
