How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
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she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize