There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
