Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
