In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
