can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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