does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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