i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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