You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
