did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
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