I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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