doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
